we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
