doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
