So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
