why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
