I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
