it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize