Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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