I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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