she was so not down for the gang bang
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
