Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
