New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize