We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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