The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize