How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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