She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
