just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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