...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
