If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
