i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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