i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
