I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
