Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
