i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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