tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
