I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
