I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
