on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
