so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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