Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
