I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
