So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my being single is dangerous.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
