You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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