Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
