Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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