Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
