i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
