You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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