Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
