In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
