took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
