Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
