Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you win again, gameday.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize