I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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