If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
