Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
