Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
