What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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