how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
