omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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