Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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