If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
