once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
