I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
