you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
