u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
