can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How does one acquire holy water?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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