have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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