jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
