All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
