You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize